It is often said that out of sight, out of mind. In relationships, it could lead to out of the heart. Let’s face, most long-distance relationships are just two people clutching at straws hoping that everything will be alright at the end.
However not all long-distance relationships fail, but when distance comes between a relationship, it most often laughs last.
Long-distance relationships are not doomed to fail all the time. It is how the two of you handle the situation that will determine its fate.
[lwptoc]
Statistics on Long-Distance Relationship (LDR)
- 14 million of coupes in America define their relationship as long-distance
- 3.75 million married couples are in a long-distance relationship
- 32.5% of all long-distance relationships are college relationships
- 10% of all marriages in the United States started out as a long-distance relationship
So what makes a relationship long-distance?
According to a survey by New York Post, a relationship can be defined as long-distance if the couples live “at least 132 miles away from each other.”
Things might look promising in during the first two to three months of your long-distance relationship, but according to the survey, things start getting tough from the fourth month onwards.
In this post, I am going to share with you some of the most common long-distance relationship poison chalice.
If you are in a long-distance relationship, be sure to learn from these mistakes committed by others.
8 Common Reasons Long-Distance Relationships Fail
What are the common causes that lead to a long-distance breakup?
1. Communication
It is an old cliché, but communication is an important aspect of any relationship and a pillar of a long-distance relationship.
During the initial stages of your relationship, you will be video-calling, texting and calling each other all the time, accompanied by the old “you hang up first.”
But as time passes, the communication can start to feel like a burden. You become too much of each with the rigorous communication schedule you set up.
You were not seeing each other, or texting through lunch, calling every morning, and video-calling every night when you were in the same city or close to each other.
2. Financial constraints
Unlike popular belief that money is not important in love, true love is not free.
The phrases “love is free,” “money can’t buy love,” and “love doesn’t cost a thing” have a deeper meaning than the literal.
The longer the distance the more your love costs.
Think about the transportation bills, time spends traveling, and you are not going to show up empty-handed. Believe me, one important thing you need to do to keep a long-distance relationship going is to surprise your partner with some gifts once in a while.
3. New Environment
The new environment you move to might change you.
The common misconception that we are unique is wide off the mark.
As a matter of fact, we are a product of our surroundings.
Your views and values might change, and soon you realize the idea of getting married to your high-school sweetheart is stupid or at least isn’t as appealing is it once was.
Your views might change while that of your partner stays the same, and that is when problems erupt.
When the perception of one of the partners in the relationship changes, it is inevitable that the romance will change too.
And in most cases, the change is often the end of the relationship.
4. Sex
Yup, it is the elephant in the room.
I can’t think of any major reason why people get into a relationship in the first place.
You were physically attracted to each other, and sex is one of the things that can strengthen your relationship (at least if done right).
Many couples in long-distance relationships fail to address this issue and it may cause problems in the relationship.
5. Words become empty over time
In a relationship, words and actions are almost inseparable. In a long-distance relationship, the distance can separate the two of you as well as the words and actions.
You can send each long, sweet messages, but sometimes words can’t make up 100% for the physical absence.
You want them to know you love them, so you send lots of “I love you” but sometimes they feel like empty, meaningless words.
6. You become a wreck
When months pass, you start to become unhappy and lonely.
Relationships are supposed to make us happy but when the person you love is on the other corner of the world, and you can’t touch or feel them, it makes you miserable.
What is the point of a relationship that makes you feel sad, helpless, and hopeless?
7. High demands
Long-distance relationship puts your willpower to test.
At times, you are hoping your partner is not cheating or they miss you as you miss them are as miserable as you are.
That might be true, but it is not always the case.
Love is patience and is important in all relationships.
But sometimes in a long-distance relationship, you might be patiently waiting for nothing.
8. You feel the relationship is stagnant
A relationship has goals, and during its course, it should be moving towards the goals, which end up with you two moving in together.
Relationships burn brightly in the beginning and then flame out as time passes.
And when you are in a long-distance relationship, it is difficult to keep the fire burning.
It may sound cheesy but when you start leaving your things such as toothbrush and clothes at your partner’s house, it is a huge relationship milestone.
You will not be able to take any of these typical small steps in a long-distance relationship, and you start feeling as if your relationship is not progressing.
How to Make Long-Distance Relationship Work
Now that you know what are the common reasons an LDR fail, here are some guides on how you can make it work:-
- Tips on Making an LDR Work – LifeHack
- What Everyone in a Long-Distance Relationship Should Know – HuffPost
- 10 Tips to Make LDR Work – PsychologyToday
- Collection of LDR resources – Diigo
- Valentine’s Day Gifts for LDR Boyfriend – VividGiftIdeas